“I’m okay. I’m fine. Everything’s going well. I’ll be fine.” Usually, that person is probably fine, and you should just go about your day. But, to people who have said those phrases over, and over, and over again…They mean something a lot more. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said one of those, or other similar statements, then maybe I really would feel okay. As a person who has gone through very…depressing times, mostly deaths of important family members, I know what it feels like. To be…defeated. Down in the dumps. Lonely. It sucks, and that’s okay. It’s supposed to be that way, after all, we’re only human, and we are frail. We can only take so much that’s thrown at us before we break. But, let it be known that you can always, always come back. You just have to find a way, and that’s okay. Take your time man, no one is rushing you…maybe the world is, but they aren’t the important ones. The ones you should look out for are your family and friends man. They should be the ones you are getting better for. They are the ones who are always there, and family doesn’t always have to be blood related. There’s a thing called adoption you know? Just…adopt them, act like they are your family. There are steps you can take to get out of your shell, here are some to use at your disposal.
- Never be afraid to ask for help.
I cant’t stress this enough. A lot of people go through pain because they aren’t willing to ask for help. It’s ok to ask, yeah? I mean, that was me when my great uncle died. He was extremely important to me, and I took everything he taught me to heart. Always treat women respectfully, be strong mentally and physically, be yourself; there’s nothing more important. One thing he told me was to ask for help, and I didn’t know why? Here was the man who was one of my idols, and he was the one who said to ask for help, and I asked “Why should I ?” He responds “Why shouldn’t you? There’s always room for advice, always room for improvement. Others can help you with that. Always ask for help if you need it. Promise?” And promise I did. It helped me out a lot to get where I am today. The reason you have people older than you (besides doing the dishes and such) is because they are there to look out for you. They are older, have more experience. Use that, and ask questions about things they know. Don’t close yourself off, it’s no fun being alone.
2. Always look ahead, never look back.
Now, you can take this advice in a different direction I’m taking it, but hear me out. This isn’t some forget everything bad that happened to you and move on, ok? You always remember things,that’s normal, just don’t push all it down and bottle it up. That ain’t healthy, it builds stress, and in turn that makes you more… well sad. But what you should do is build off of your mistakes, and create a stronger foundation to build off of even more. Keep in mind that you should look back; just don’t look back at all of the bad things, look back on the happy memories. It eases the pain, and lightens the mindset of the individual. Look ahead to your future, you have a lot to look forward to…embrace it.
3. Be yourself.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
— Oscar Wilde
I mentioned this briefly in the first piece of advice I gave, but just be yourself. With the internet, people will obviously seek to put you down. That’s just life in a nutshell. What you have to do is ignore them and focus on what’s important to you. It’s 100%, A-OK, to be a little weird. That’s understandable. Everyone is different, some groups of people are just a little less different than the other people in their clique, or whatever they call them these days. But being you, that’s how you express yourself man, it’s what makes….you, You. You are important. You are a human being. You have emotions, and are weird, and are just trying to be who you want to be. If you want to color your hair, that’s A-OK, go ahead, just don’t go too overboard. After all, there’s a very fine line between being yourself, and being stupid. What I mean by being yourself, is that you should…express yourself in a way you deem fit, but at the same time, is socially, morally, and ethically acceptable. Vandalizing houses and cars isn’t socially acceptable, but wall art, murals, stuff you see in San Fran or New York, that’s ok, just be…discreet about that type of stuff. Coloring your hair? That’s okay, just don’t go full rainbow mohawk unless you really want to, and if you really don’t care about what people think. Your body, your choices, your execution.
4. Relax and Just Vent.
“Taking a break. Been working solid for the last few hours, as opposed to working liquid, which is more drinkable. Can I pour you a glass of productivity?”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE
Do something man, it isn’t good to just sit around on your…butt, just wallowing in whatever sort of agony, or pain, or sadness, or whatever it is that you’re feeling. Go out and do something, relax a bit. Do something you love….just vent. Talk to your friends, family. Watch TV, watch a comedy you think is interesting. Laugh, try to enjoy yourself. Do things that interest you, draw, dance, fight, just do something that gets you…..excited. Something that gets you happy just thinking about it. For me that’s going home and cooking, eating my food, or playing with my friends, talking. Relax man, that 5-page essay can wait for a little bit. Don’t be so stressed man. If you are ever feeling down, maybe stress is the reason. It happens at times, don’t worry you’re normal. Stress is a natural part of life, but too much is unhealthy.
5. Have Fun.
“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”
― Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
This is what the thing you are doing should be to you. It’s your life, your actions, your responsibility. Do with it what you will, but just remember to make it fun for yourself in some way. No matter what you’re doing, it’s important to keep that aspect of like within your grasp at all times. Once something gets drab or monotonous, you get tired of it. As you start to get into more complicated work, a little fun is like a breath of fresh air. Now, you could be like my parents and worry…worry…worry, but my mom knows how to have fun. She goes shopping. It’s her way of throwing off stress, and you should go and do something that helps you do that. I’m a gamer, and let me tell you something. People who game, they’re “nerds” or whatever people say these days. They’re lazy…useless…blah blah blah. I’ve heard this speal before, and let me tell you something; It’s not true. Look at me, I’m physically healthy, I work out, help my family, yet it’s my mom and dad who say this to me. Why? Why say something that they haven’t entirely checked out to see if it’s true or not? Older people do these things through tradition. It’s okay, I support you. Just be you, and have fun. Let nobody ruin it for you, because even the best have to relax at times.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
– Dr. Seuss
Overall, these steps should guide you along your path to whatever destination you seek. Whether it be Success, or Fame. Maybe just Relaxation, or some sort of inner Peace. All of these should be attainable using these steps, and a little extra wit on your end. Be yourself, find your pathway to self-acceptance, and remember that it’s always important to relax a bit beforehand in order to do things. This is meant to be a guideline. Not a tour guide. I gave you a basic map, now you find your way. I wish you luck with your endeavors.
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A picture of the bay in Vancouver, Canada